Wrong Send – Part 3

Behold, the 3rd part of my ‘rant’ about the text messages I received from an anonymous wife. You can read Part 1 and Part 2 by clicking the links respectively.

So again, I felt bad for being wrongly accused. But what exactly did I do? Did I get mad at the lady? Nope. I didn’t. Did I call her and shout at her to make my point. Nope. I didn’t do that. Did I scold her and embarrass her in any means and ways? Nope. I didn’t do that either.

I didn’t do any of those because at some point, I did understand where she’s coming from. I’m a woman and a mother, too. I know that she’s just trying to protect her family, that’s why she was in full defense mode and she was strongly offensive at the same time. In some extent, I understand she’s afraid of having a wrecked family, she’s feeling too bad for finding out that her husband got a ‘3rd wheel’, and she just gotta release all those negative emotions stuck within her. I really do understand her. And I understand why she wasn’t open for reconsideration and she didn’t want to listen to any voice of reason, which I personally think is sad. I understand her being emotional, but at the back of my mind, I hope that she would listen.

Again and again, I’ve been in her position, BUT, I never bad mouthed my ex-husband’s other woman. When I was younger, boyfriend then had a 3rd wheel and he admitted it, but I didn’t confront the girl. I confronted my ex-boyfriend but not the girl. As for my ex-husband, I confronted him; I cursed him and told him all the hatred I felt for him, but I never did that to the other woman. I’ve never confronted any 3rd wheel in my whole lifetime.

Why? Because, I got nothing to do with the 3rd wheel.

Why? Simply because for me, the one liable in that kind of situation was my ex. I’m not being a sexist here, but I’m just putting the blame on the guy because he’s the one who has the commitment to me, not the 3rd party. The guy has full knowledge that he’s already committed to someone, and he should keep that commitment, but he chose to betray that relationship. So, that’s totally on him. Whether the other woman was the first one to give the motive; the hell I care! It’s still on the guy.

Human as I am, I felt terrible when I was wrongly accused because of the five reasons I gave in Part 2. But despite of that terrible feeling, I kept my composure. I did my best to keep my cool and stick with reason and be logical in dealing with the situation. I think I was successful in dealing with her professionally and I was able to keep myself civilized, despite of her strong attacks. I knew all along that she won’t listen because I’m pretty much aware that her mind was already clouded and I knew it’s hard to think straight, especially when you’re deeply hurt and you’re too emotional. That’s why I preferred to sleep and let my boyfriend call her to clear things up.

My boyfriend and I talked about the situation and how it’s affecting us, but we never heard a word from her after several attempts to call her. My boyfriend said he’s lucky because I wasn’t illogical during the whole process. He’s glad I didn’t accuse him of anything despite of the claims of the anonymous texter. He said a typical girlfriend would make a fuss about the situation, and most likely, couples will fight over such situation even if it’s obvious that it’s merely a wrong sent text message. For me, why would I create a fuss out of it? I don’t want to give effort on that. Why fight if you can talk, right? My boyfriend said he’s glad that I’m not a typical irrational + emotional girlfriend, but he considers me as a rational + emotional. Hey, I still listen to the voice of reason despite of what’s going on, but being emotional is just too strong, I haven’t mastered that part yet.

Lesson:

Listen to the voice of reason no matter how intense the situation is.

Well, what would you do if you were me?

Wrong Send – Part 2

So, yah. I got an irritating, accusing text message from an anonymous wife a few days ago, that really made me feel bad for a few hours [ you can read the rest of the info in Wrong Send – Part I ].

Here’s why I felt bad about the freaking situation:

1. My family was ruined because of a “3rd wheel”. My marriage didn’t work out because of it. I’m not proud about what happened but I’m not hiding it. It is what it is, so I just have to suck it all in, get back on my feet and move on with my life.

2. A few years ago, I suffered from depression because my family got wrecked right after I gave birth and I felt like a total shit. It was a disaster.

3. Being in the position of having a wrecked family is not a good position at all. It’s the worst position EVER.

4. I know how it is; I know how it feels to lose somebody whom you offered your life to and promised to live the rest of your life with, because of a certain 3rd wheel.

5. I know how it is to be a mom to a fatherless kid who isn’t suppose to be fatherless in the first place.

Given these five reasons, why the hell would I allow myself to become a 3rd party in whomsoever marriage? Why would I do that to myself? And why would I do that to somebody else’s family. Again, I’ve been through a lot of shits, and man, I won’t allow myself to be in that position again, and I won’t and NEVER become a 3rd party to anybody else’s marriage. Woooh! I need some fresh air.

So again, I felt bad for being wrongly accused. But what exactly did I do? Did I get mad at the lady? Nope. I didn’t. Did I call her and shout at her to make my point. Nope. I didn’t do that. Did I scold her and embarrass her in any means and ways? Nope. I didn’t do that either.

What I did was:

1. I clarified whom the message was for. I told her that I’ve never been a 3rd party to anyone’s relationship and I told her that she’s barking at the wrong tree.

2. I informed her that yes, I have a boyfriend, but my boyfriend is and was never married to anyone, and he got zero kids as of now.

3. I told her that if she truly believes that I’m her husband’s other woman, we must probably meet somewhere so we can talk personally. I don’t like cat fights because it’s a total waste of time, but I’m willing to spend time to clear my name because I don’t want to be tagged as a 3rd wheel or a home wrecker because of the reasons I mentioned above.

4. I told her that like her, I also strongly believe in Karma, and I’m not afraid of it because my conscience is crystal clear, as far as her accusations are concerned.

5. I told my boyfriend about the lady who’s bad mouthing me, and he offered to clear things up. So he called her up and I decided to sleep. Yep. I preferred to sleep than to deal with it.

My boyfriend called the anonymous number a few times, but no one’s answering. Maybe she figured out that she got it all wrong. I don’t know. We have no idea why she wouldn’t answer her phone. I’m thinking that, if she’s so sure about her accusations and whatever she’s been texting me, she could have at least answered the phone.

I’m not sure what happened but, maybe the message was meant for somebody else. Well… that settles it. I hope she won’t text me again because it’s so damn stressful, even if we knew from the start that it’s all wrong.

Lesson:

Be careful in sending text messages. Make sure the message is sent to the right person. 😉

In the Midst of Me

Why do I doubt You oh, Lord, when You have continuously proven Yourself to me?

Why do I doubt You oh, Lord, when You have told me that You have chosen me?

Why is my heart tangled in a series of questions questioning Your existence, if I have seen how You have worked in my life?

Why am I feeling alone, when I know You have promised me that You will never leave me nor forsake me?

Why am I like this?

Lord is there something wrong with me?

If there is, then make things right for me.

Is it my faith?

Then embrace me even more, so that my mind won’t fool me and start raising questions that are not supposed to be raised.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord, because I wanted to see You once again.

I wanted to see Your face and keep my hope up just like before.

Did I walk astray?

In my path it seems that You’re not there?

Please straighten things out for me because I cannot figure this one out on my own.

My body is cold and my spirit is weak

Embrace me Lord and keep me warm in Your loving hand

I have fallen and I can’t stand on my own.

Raise me up again and let me hold Your banner in this warfare

Anoint me and I will be Your warrior.

Why do I still doubt You?

It is my faith.

It is the barrier that I have built between us.

Crush this shell in my heart like the way You have crushed the walls of Jericho

Marry me and dwell in my temple as You have promised

I know You have chosen me among others

Save me from myself for I am causing all the doubts in me

Sanctify me.

Purify my mind.

Break my heart and make it Yours, just like what You have promised.

In the midst of my doubts, I know in my heart You will come and save me.