Behold, the 3rd part of my ‘rant’ about the text messages I received from an anonymous wife. You can read Part 1 and Part 2 by clicking the links respectively.
So again, I felt bad for being wrongly accused. But what exactly did I do? Did I get mad at the lady? Nope. I didn’t. Did I call her and shout at her to make my point. Nope. I didn’t do that. Did I scold her and embarrass her in any means and ways? Nope. I didn’t do that either.
I didn’t do any of those because at some point, I did understand where she’s coming from. I’m a woman and a mother, too. I know that she’s just trying to protect her family, that’s why she was in full defense mode and she was strongly offensive at the same time. In some extent, I understand she’s afraid of having a wrecked family, she’s feeling too bad for finding out that her husband got a ‘3rd wheel’, and she just gotta release all those negative emotions stuck within her. I really do understand her. And I understand why she wasn’t open for reconsideration and she didn’t want to listen to any voice of reason, which I personally think is sad. I understand her being emotional, but at the back of my mind, I hope that she would listen.
Again and again, I’ve been in her position, BUT, I never bad mouthed my ex-husband’s other woman. When I was younger, boyfriend then had a 3rd wheel and he admitted it, but I didn’t confront the girl. I confronted my ex-boyfriend but not the girl. As for my ex-husband, I confronted him; I cursed him and told him all the hatred I felt for him, but I never did that to the other woman. I’ve never confronted any 3rd wheel in my whole lifetime.
Why? Because, I got nothing to do with the 3rd wheel.
Why? Simply because for me, the one liable in that kind of situation was my ex. I’m not being a sexist here, but I’m just putting the blame on the guy because he’s the one who has the commitment to me, not the 3rd party. The guy has full knowledge that he’s already committed to someone, and he should keep that commitment, but he chose to betray that relationship. So, that’s totally on him. Whether the other woman was the first one to give the motive; the hell I care! It’s still on the guy.
Human as I am, I felt terrible when I was wrongly accused because of the five reasons I gave in Part 2. But despite of that terrible feeling, I kept my composure. I did my best to keep my cool and stick with reason and be logical in dealing with the situation. I think I was successful in dealing with her professionally and I was able to keep myself civilized, despite of her strong attacks. I knew all along that she won’t listen because I’m pretty much aware that her mind was already clouded and I knew it’s hard to think straight, especially when you’re deeply hurt and you’re too emotional. That’s why I preferred to sleep and let my boyfriend call her to clear things up.
My boyfriend and I talked about the situation and how it’s affecting us, but we never heard a word from her after several attempts to call her. My boyfriend said he’s lucky because I wasn’t illogical during the whole process. He’s glad I didn’t accuse him of anything despite of the claims of the anonymous texter. He said a typical girlfriend would make a fuss about the situation, and most likely, couples will fight over such situation even if it’s obvious that it’s merely a wrong sent text message. For me, why would I create a fuss out of it? I don’t want to give effort on that. Why fight if you can talk, right? My boyfriend said he’s glad that I’m not a typical irrational + emotional girlfriend, but he considers me as a rational + emotional. Hey, I still listen to the voice of reason despite of what’s going on, but being emotional is just too strong, I haven’t mastered that part yet.
Listen to the voice of reason no matter how intense the situation is.
Well, what would you do if you were me?